I saw the ad again, looked at the comic, recognized the name, then browsed back to find my comment from two months (!) ago: yet the story hasn’t moved a bit since then. The summary for those 2 months is: “The creature needs something”. (And the next months are probably going to be “they deepen their mode of communication” and then one takes the other somewhere.) That’s what I was thinking of when I talked about the pacing.
The art is competent, the setting is interesting and seems original, the characters seem fine so far, but the pacing is like the first two minutes of a movie just took 4 months. You may have a good reason for this pace, and maybe it’s all well thought out, and I simply don’t understand what you are going for? But my impression right now is that for you to tell your story in a reasonable time frame (when do you want to be finished?), you may need to tighten up the script. Your art makes the same statements over and over instead of moving on with the story. Have more confidence in your ability to get emotions and moods across with fewer frames! I’d even go so far as to say that this is one of your strengths, but you dilute it by not advancing the story and letting the mood change more.
This is a good webcomic, and I don’t want it to drop dead halfway through, like so many others. You probably have a plan, and you’re following it, and it’ll all make sense later? But as a reader, I’m still waiting for the “beat to drop” and the comic to pick up the pace and really get going. What you have so far works at a “binge read” kind of pace, but it doesn’t make me want to commit to reading it on a weekly basis, intriguing as it is.
This kinda reads as “you don’t have enough content even though you just started and are updating weekly” and i feel like thats missing several points? like, what if they’re updating weekly to keep up with their own life, like school or work? its kind of harsh criticism for the circumstances.
I don’t expect you’re reading this, but let me rebut your point anyway. If I had meant to say that there’s not enough content, I’d have written that. (And what is “content” anyway?) WhatI am critizing is the pace. I am reading about half a dozen full page webcomics that post with differing frequencies. These updates are generally paced so that each update brings the story forward by an important step. This is not a question of effort, this is something that is determined at the scripting phase. With leafscar, the story moves more slowly, not because the artist is drawing slowly, but because the script spreads the story across more panels. This is fine when you are storyboarding an animation, but a webcomic needs to use its space more effectively if it is to shine.
Obviously, this is just my opinion, and not an absolute truth. But if Lizel wants her webcomic to better and more popular, I feel she (?) needs to be thinking about Leafscar’s pace. I feel it would be kind of harsh for me to have this insight and not share it; I’d do that if I didn’t really care about Leafscar’s future. If she’s done that, maybe got some good (and not merely polite) second opinions on this issue, fine, then I’m probably wrong. And if the pace is planned to pick up in chapter 2, so much the better.
7 thoughts on “Chapter 1 Page 15”
Oz
“With learning your language”
Tooniator
Help with your math homework? Help choosing the best laundry detergent? Help fighting eldritch horrors?
Mendel
I saw the ad again, looked at the comic, recognized the name, then browsed back to find my comment from two months (!) ago: yet the story hasn’t moved a bit since then. The summary for those 2 months is: “The creature needs something”. (And the next months are probably going to be “they deepen their mode of communication” and then one takes the other somewhere.) That’s what I was thinking of when I talked about the pacing.
The art is competent, the setting is interesting and seems original, the characters seem fine so far, but the pacing is like the first two minutes of a movie just took 4 months. You may have a good reason for this pace, and maybe it’s all well thought out, and I simply don’t understand what you are going for? But my impression right now is that for you to tell your story in a reasonable time frame (when do you want to be finished?), you may need to tighten up the script. Your art makes the same statements over and over instead of moving on with the story. Have more confidence in your ability to get emotions and moods across with fewer frames! I’d even go so far as to say that this is one of your strengths, but you dilute it by not advancing the story and letting the mood change more.
This is a good webcomic, and I don’t want it to drop dead halfway through, like so many others. You probably have a plan, and you’re following it, and it’ll all make sense later? But as a reader, I’m still waiting for the “beat to drop” and the comic to pick up the pace and really get going. What you have so far works at a “binge read” kind of pace, but it doesn’t make me want to commit to reading it on a weekly basis, intriguing as it is.
Erynn Q
This kinda reads as “you don’t have enough content even though you just started and are updating weekly” and i feel like thats missing several points? like, what if they’re updating weekly to keep up with their own life, like school or work? its kind of harsh criticism for the circumstances.
LizelComics
aw yess someday I hope to not work 6 days a week and update more frequently 八(＾□＾*) 八(＾□＾*) 八(＾□＾*) 八(＾□＾*)八(＾□＾*) 八(＾□＾*)
Mendel
I don’t expect you’re reading this, but let me rebut your point anyway. If I had meant to say that there’s not enough content, I’d have written that. (And what is “content” anyway?) WhatI am critizing is the pace. I am reading about half a dozen full page webcomics that post with differing frequencies. These updates are generally paced so that each update brings the story forward by an important step. This is not a question of effort, this is something that is determined at the scripting phase. With leafscar, the story moves more slowly, not because the artist is drawing slowly, but because the script spreads the story across more panels. This is fine when you are storyboarding an animation, but a webcomic needs to use its space more effectively if it is to shine.
Obviously, this is just my opinion, and not an absolute truth. But if Lizel wants her webcomic to better and more popular, I feel she (?) needs to be thinking about Leafscar’s pace. I feel it would be kind of harsh for me to have this insight and not share it; I’d do that if I didn’t really care about Leafscar’s future. If she’s done that, maybe got some good (and not merely polite) second opinions on this issue, fine, then I’m probably wrong. And if the pace is planned to pick up in chapter 2, so much the better.
LizelComics
thanks for the thorough feedback! I suggest checking back in (counts on fingers) 3-4 months all of chapter one will be uploaded by then, probably.